Index cards, Kobe's jerseys, and Sun Bedeviled


By Mike Ashley


IT’S OFFICIAL: I was in Foot Locker this week and they measured my feet with an index card.

THE NIGHTMARE AFTER CHRISTMAS: Can you imagine being the clerk at the store when Stephen A. Smith has to return a gift? 

WAR - WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR: Sort of worried because ever since she became a bigger sports fan, my wife keeps talking about my Wins Above Replacement.

RECEIVE AND YOU SHALL ASK: I believe that when NFL replays involve a catch/no catch now, the officials’ headset actually connects them with NASA.

ELF-IMPOSED SANCTIONS: I’m also convinced the tall elf with glasses in ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ is a young Jim Boeheim. In a related note, Rick Pitino now wants to be a dentist.

TIMEOUT FOR TRIVIA: Who holds the NFL playoff record for all-purpose yards in a single game?

FRANCHISE SAG: The Washington Redskins have two more weeks to show QB Kirk Cousins something so he can decide if they’re going to be his team.

I WAS TOLD THERE’D BE NO MATH: Kobe Bryant had his No. 8 and No. 24 retired by the Lakers. They were going to just retire ‘32’ to save space, but that was Magic Johnson’s number.

FRANKINCENSE, CURRY & LeBRON: Your present from the NBA is Cleveland playing at Golden State Christmas afternoon.

FIRST FALCON: The first pick in the 1966 draft by the Atlanta Falcons, Tommy Nobis averaged 21 tackles as a rookie before knee injuries piled up. He was of an era that gave us middle linebackers Dick Butkus, Ray Nitschke and Willie Lanier, and Nobis, who passed away last week, belongs on the list, too.

BASKETBALL 101: How did the Rockets take off?  They got point guard Chris Paul, who loves to pass, and paired him with James Harden who loves to shoot.

SUN BEDEVILED: I like Herm Edwards, but he hasn’t coached in college in 30 years or anywhere at all since 2008. He has already lost the two coordinators who were set to run things on the field, and saw his top recruit back out from Arizona State.

TRIVIA ANSWER: Christmas Day 1971, Kansas City Chiefs running back Ed Podolak racked up 350 yards (85 rushing, 110 receiving and 153 on kickoff returns) before Miami won 27-24 in double overtime to reach the AFC title game and likely keep Podolak from being one of the most famous players ever after the longest game ever.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mike Ashley has covered college athletics for over 30 years. He has worked in the athletic departments at Virginia Tech, Radford University and Marshall University, in addition to freelance work from his Northern Virginia home. Ashley has also worked as a stand-up comic, and has been a regular on many radio stations throughout the Mid-Atlantic Region. His work appears in Terrapin Times (covering the University of Maryland), NCAA programs, Blue Ribbon YearbooksAthlonLindy’s, and on bathroom stalls in major sporting venues. He has also co-authored a book on the golden age of Virginia Military Institute football, “Best Regrets: VMI’s John McKenna and The Lost Age of College Football.” Previously, the Salem, Va., native has helped author books on the New York Yankees, Emmitt Smith, Maryland’s 2002 NCAA basketball championship, and published a book on the history of Radford University.

William Roth