Some NHL, more Johnny Manziel, and pro golf going to heck

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By Mike Ashley

PUCK DROP: It’s the surest sign of spring in the Washington, D.C., area when the Capitals are on the brink of NHL playoff elimination.

CAREER BUS STOP: Think UFC will throw Conor McGregor under the bus after he threw things at a bus?

JOHNNY FOOTBOP: Johnny Manziel got cut from the 2018 season of ‘Dancing With The Stars’ before the season even began. 

MUST BE PLAYED OUT OF AL CZERVIK’S GOLF BAG: In the do-we-really-need-that category, the PGA is going to play “walk-up” music at TPC Louisiana in two weeks. I remember when the only thing loud on the golf course was the pants.

TIMEOUT FOR TRIVIA: As the NHL Playoffs open, the Pittsburgh Penguins are seeking their third consecutive Stanley Cup. What team last achieved that feat?

YOU CAN’T SPELL YANKEES WITHOUT ‘K’: Giancarlo Stanton struck out more times (20) in 10 games than Joe DiMaggio did in a whole season (13 times in 139 games in 1941).

UNDERDOGS PART II: Stop me if you’d heard this before, unranked UMBC knocked off the No. 1 team in the country in lacrosse, previously unbeaten Albany. It was a dogfight – Retrievers over Great Danes.

BEN THERE, DOING THAT: Ben Simmons should not only be NBA Rookie of the Year, he may be on the cutting edge of saving the game with the incredibly novel idea of getting the ball closer to the basket to make shots and involve teammates.

ANGELS WATCHING OVER ME: Here’s the ace columnist thanking his lucky stars he didn’t make fun of Shohei Ohtani’s poor spring training performance.

SEAMS TO ME: If the New York Mets stay healthy, they’re in it for the long haul this year. They’ve had so many injuries the last couple of seasons no wonder Mr. Met has so many stitches on his head.

TAX TIME: Everybody should have to turn in a written theme with their tax returns. Write about your life (creating a historic archive for future generations) or champion an idea to improve things (and if good, you get your money back). Then writers and English majors can cash in like CPAs. I’m ready. Gonna open my help-firm, H&R Writers’ Block.

TRIVIA ANSWER: The New York Islanders actually put four championships on ice 1980-83. Here’s to Bryan Trottier, Mike Bossy, Denis Potvin and Billy Smith. I wasn’t a big fan, but I Arbour no resentment.


ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mike Ashley has covered college athletics for over 30 years. He has worked in the athletic departments at Virginia Tech, Radford University and Marshall University, in addition to freelance work from his Northern Virginia home. Ashley has also worked as a stand-up comic, and has been a regular on many radio stations throughout the Mid-Atlantic Region. His work appears in Terrapin Times (covering the University of Maryland), NCAA programs, Blue Ribbon YearbooksAthlonLindy’s, and on bathroom stalls in major sporting venues. He has also co-authored a book on the golden age of Virginia Military Institute football, “Best Regrets: VMI’s John McKenna and The Lost Age of College Football.” Previously, the Salem, Va., native has helped author books on the New York Yankees, Emmitt Smith, Maryland’s 2002 NCAA basketball championship, and published a book on the history of Radford University.

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William Roth