Super Bowl’s a dud, NC State goes thud, & Knicks could sign Elmer Fudd
By Mike Ashley
BILL ME LATER: The Super Bowl was a lot like a Bill Belichick press conference. Yeah, it was important and you felt the need to watch, but it was pretty much a nothingburger.
WHO DAT GONNA BLOW THAT CALL: Per columnist Norman Chad, the Rams performance saved them the indignity of deciding to vote NFL referees a full or partial share of the winning payout.
WORST PATRIOT TO PARTY WITH? Tom Brady offered to buy a round of macrobiotic kale smoothies for everyone.
ASKING FOR A FRIEND: On their way to an ACC all-time shot-clock-era low 24 points Saturday against Virginia Tech, did it ever occur to the 2-for-28-from-three NC State Wolfpack to consider working the ball closer to the basket?
TOLD THERE’D BE NO MATH: Last week they were saying on the Big Ten Network that 18 or 19 Big Ten teams were expected to make the NCAA Tournament. Ha. There are actually only 14 teams in the Big Ten.
TD OR NOT TD: I wish Tony Romo had predicted more touchdowns for us in the Super Bowl.
TIMEOUT FOR TRIVIA: Yeah, Brady’s got six Super Bowl rings and Charles Haley has five. Can you tell me who was the first player to get to the old magical number of four Super Bowl rings?
COVER TOO: The only person that could possibly cover Julian Edelman is probably Adam Levine’s tattoo artist.
CUP RUNNETH OVER: The Anthony Davis from New Orleans to Los Angeles trade was apparently hung up on whether or not the Lakers get to keep their Hurricane glass in the deal.
MOVING THE UNICORN: The Knicks traded Kristaps Porzingis for some magic beans last week. We’re so used to the Knicks making the wrong move that surprisingly, trading the oft-injured ‘Unicorn’, netting Dennis Smith, Jr., and $74.6 million in cap space could be good. That is, if they don’t make the wrong move this summer.
BIG GUN: If you’re Giannis Antekumpno or LeBron James, how high do you select likely NBA MVP James Harden for your All-Star team. He’s like that guy in the playground pick-up games that never, ever passes the ball. Okay, okay. I was that guy.
TRIVIA ANSWER: Green Bay/Miami uber-blocking tight end Marv Fleming won the first two with the Packers and then came back to win with the Dolphins in 1973-74.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Mike Ashley has covered college athletics for over 30 years. He has worked in the athletic departments at Virginia Tech, Radford University and Marshall University, in addition to freelance work from his Northern Virginia home. Ashley has also worked as a stand-up comic, and has been a regular on many radio stations throughout the Mid-Atlantic Region. His work appears in Terrapin Times (covering the University of Maryland), NCAA programs, Blue Ribbon Yearbooks, Athlon, Lindy’s, and on bathroom stalls in major sporting venues. He has also co-authored a book on the golden age of Virginia Military Institute football, “Best Regrets: VMI’s John McKenna and The Lost Age of College Football.” Previously, the Salem, Va., native has helped author books on the New York Yankees, Emmitt Smith, Maryland’s 2002 NCAA basketball championship, and published a book on the history of Radford University.